In Part 1 we looked at letting go of the old ways of thinking, then adopting new ways of thinking, values and beliefs, to change your behaviour in regard to money and finance.
Empower your Relationship
Just as you will have ways of thinking that you have built up over your lifetime, ways of thinking that have developed in your mind leading to strong values and beliefs, the same will have happened in your partner’s life.
The problem occurs when these values clash, and without plenty of early discussion and consideration, the likelihood is that they will. This happens because we usually partner with someone who fulfils what we need (this is another interesting topic we will deal with later).
In looking at what new ways of thinking in relation to money will be empowering to you, consider what are the current beliefs and values of your partner.
In my personal relationships, I could be considered a spender. Imagine what happened when I partnered with a person who saw money as something to be kept for a rainy day. Very challenging! However, in knowing the differences and how these can be used to enhance the lives of both parties, one can easily come up with a plan that will give both parties the benefits of both, rather than argue about the rights of each.
Stats show, the number 1 cause of relationships breakup is money. No wonder, when we do not know that we need to work towards understanding our values and beliefs about money so we are on the same page as our partner.
Develop a Money Blueprint
Harv Eker, in his book “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind”, describes the importance of two people in a relationship to have matching blueprints. This is such a good analogy for a builder like me.
Imagine the same two people wanting to build their first home. They each have in their minds what they want their new house to look like, but each one does not know what the other one has in mind. What a disaster!
You may need a Money “Architect”
When two people in a relationship want to build their first home, they will usually first discuss general concepts, what spaces they need, area they like, and discuss any differences. Then they might look for something that they both like. They will work on this, usually both enjoying the process, until they have ironed out all the issues of difference, made whatever compromises are appropriate and each of them can tolerate. If this cannot be achieved, they might find an architect who will have professional training in designing houses for clients and who knows how to consult and design in such a way that both parties will be happy. Certainly the dominant party in the relationship might override the other, or it might be that the parties will separate the parts of the house that will be more used by each of them.
Can you see how easy it is to deal with difference in individual issues in relation to building a house. How easy is it therefore to apply this to a similar understanding about money and how financial arrangements, goals, challenges and success will apply to the parties in a successful relationship.
If Money and Relationships are a challenge for you and you need a ” Money Architect” – please contact The Academy, we may be able to give you a Free Consultation to see if we can help you in this process. Sharyn@seriousselfimprovement.com